Try asking each other:

• When do you feel most cared for by me?

• What are small things I do that really matter to you?

• What comes naturally to you when you show love?

• What’s one thing I could do more of that would make a difference?

The bite-size version

• Talk about what helps you feel loved

• Notice how your partner naturally shows care

• Don’t assume what feels meaningful is the same for both of you

• Small, consistent actions matter more than big moments

• Love works best when it is felt, not just intended

A Jewish lens

The Hebrew word ahava (love) shares a deep connection with the idea of giving. In Jewish thought, love is not only something you feel, but something you actively express through what you do. The way you show care, attention, and presence is what builds and strengthens love over time.